We’d all like to believe that our married friends are going to remain involved in our lives after the divorce has been settled – but that’s not only the case. In fact, many newly divorced couples feel it a little insecure when their oldest and dearest friends no longer seem to call or visit. It’s not that your old friendships are completely done for; chances are your friends don’t know how to interact with you – now that your “other half” has vanished.
Here are three types of friendships you’ll face after the divorce has been finalized:
The mutual friend
This particular friend is committed to keeping his or her interests the same as they’ve always been – between you both. Often times, this type of friend enjoys maintaining a friendship with both parties, but finds it awkward to understand the discomfort you feel when invited to social gatherings. Although they mean well, this friend can come across as insensitive and selfish at times.
The bail-out friend
For some individuals, choosing a specific side or “loyalty” feels necessary. This friend was generally friends with one person before the two of you were married (although this isn’t always the case) they’ll stick with that person long after you’ve separated. For this type of friend, remaining friends with both seems unnerving – so don’t be surprised if they seemingly disappear after the documents have been signed.
The fighting friend
This particular individual believes that a friendship shouldn’t be defined by who you are or who you were married to. This person stays where they feel comfortable; typically thinking of personal situations or events that have occurred before deciding how they want to maintain the friendship. Sometimes, this friend will stick to one individual – in other times, they’ll switch to your ex (if they were close). This person doesn’t consider prior to the marriage and often feels the need to choose one side over the other, instead of maintaining both friendships.
The fall-back friend
A fall-back friend is someone who uses both of you when they need someone to talk to, although there is no immediate loyalty to either side. That’s not to say they’re a bad friend – they’re likely just interested in having a good group of friends to hang-out with and enjoy. This friend is a perfect solution should you want to just get out and forget about the emotional chaos.