Choosing to divorce is never an easy decision regardless of how frustrated and unhappy you have become in your marriage. There are many strong emotions that emanate from both sides, so it is important to choose healthy alternatives in order to relieve the tension and reduce the amount of stress that is a natural part of divorce.
The Initial Decision
Once a couple makes the decision to legally end a relationship, a difficult and lengthy process follows. Even if there are no complex legal and financial matters involved, there is still a great deal of turmoil that affects everyone: grandparents, children, friends, and extended family. In all likelihood at least some family members will notice a decline in their standard of living while everyone will be faced with emotional challenges.
Dealing with the Stress of Divorce
Separation and divorce are two very painful life events and can cause a person to question everything that is part of his or her life. Some of the coping techniques you can use to take care of not only yourself but others include the following:
- Join a support group and consider mediation in order to reduce confrontations with your ex-spouse
- Avoid withdrawing from social settings
- Learn how to achieve a balance between giving and receiving
- Avoid guilt and negativity over what might have been
- Be sure to make time for yourself
- Avoid worrying what others might think
- Get rid of clutter in your environment
- Set priorities and create a schedule of tasks that need done and the order in which they are to be completed
- Return to school to improve your marketable skills if necessary
- Don’t allow your anger to drain your energy
- Do not have any fear of going out alone and meeting new people
Divorce and Financial Issues
Finances are the cause of a great deal of stress within many marriages; this is even more of a problem after a break up. Unfortunately, many divorces are actually preceded by problems with money. Once you are a single person again you will need to deal with all the financial matters—if your spouse handled that area of your relationship, you need to learn how to manage finances on your own. If necessary consult with a professional for advice on creating a realistic budget.